Perfect Imperfection 

Adopting before marriage was never my intention. The plan I had for myself was to finish my PhD, find a wonderful man to marry and then settle down and start a family together. But this was MY plan, not the Lords. He had something else in store for me. 

I sat down on the computer and briefly looked through an adoption website. I have been fortunate in my life to have family members who are Deaf, so I have been fluent in American Sign Language my whole life. So, it was my intention to adopt a child with special needs, specifically Deafness. 

However, as I searched through many children, I saw little "Gabe" — a beautiful little boy with special needs. While his special needs were not exactly what I was looking for, I could not deny the ferocity in which my heart reached out to him. He was perfect! It only got better as I further looked into "Gabe" and saw that he had a twin sister—and again, it was like my heart claimed them before my mind could catch up. I tried to stay open minded as I continued to search, but this time my heart and my head kept going back to "Gabe" and "Gabby." I started the adoption process immediately. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it work financially, but I knew that these two precious angels were worth any effort, time and heartache that came my way.

"Gabe" has a variety of special needs (Cerebral Palsy, hydrocephalus, epilepsy, quadraperisis, and a few others) all of which will be welcomed and embraced by me and my family. I have consulted with several doctors regarding his needs and am familiar with his medical needs and possible medical interventions. Currently, however, his needs are not being cared for in the orphanage in which he resides. Thus, the adoption process has been expedited so that I can get him home soon in order to get him the treatment and care he deserves. 

These two children were put directly in my path. I wasn't looking for them. And from the moment I saw them I knew they were supposed to be mine. I wasn't sure how it would happen - but I felt absolute peace that somehow, it would. Adoption is very expensive when you are adopting one child, but adopting two at once means a lot of the fees and costs you get in duplicate, which has been a struggle. 

I wish I could say that my decision to adopt was all about my beautiful children, but the truth is, it's also selfish. It is my eyes that well-up with tears when I think of them, my home that will contain such joy, my heart that will be filled, and my life that will be forever blessed. 

This adoption process has been frustrating, difficult, overwhelming, and one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. I started this process in the fall of 2019 and here it is 18 months later and my kids aren't home yet. I, like so many others, had my adoption put on hold with COVID. However, the country they are from has opened up again! I was able to have my first visit via video conference and for an hour every day for an entire week I was able to see their adorable faces, watch them play, and get to know them. Last month (Feb 2021) I signed the official paperwork consenting to adoption, and my i800 paperwork with their names on it was submitted to USCIS! Now we just wait for the paperwork to be processed, pay the 19k remaining, and then I can go pick up my kids! My heart and my arms feel empty and I can't wait to get them home! 

Please see my blog for more information on my beautiful journey to bring my kids home. https://eatingforthreeanyway.com/