Hey, Y'all! Hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend, and a very Happy Mother's Day to all the moms, grandmas, step-moms, birth moms and moms-to-be out there. This day always hurts a little for me (Brandy), and this year was no different. It's hard being in church and watching all the moms stand up and be presented with flowers, it's hard seeing families out at restaurants dressed up with little ones giving ginormous hugs, and seeing facebook news feeds filled with pictures of families, presents, and just happiness. It's a little easier this year, being able to go sit in the nursery and watch as Daniel puts the finishing touches on hanging curtains and re-arranges the furniture. It provides a little hope that now that we've moved several steps forward to getting to enjoy the happiness and love. We've done everything with can with our adoption agency, and now just wait for our baby to find us.. so that we too can celebrate and feel all the love we urn for on Mothers Day and Fathers Day, but especially just everyday. Having our family of three will make our life a lot more complete.

Since there are no updates to share with you on the status of our adoption, we figured it'd be the perfect time to share some facts and answer some questions we have often gotten since starting this journey in January.

Will we be adopting a child from the USA? Will they be a baby or an older child?
 - As you'll remember from previous updates, We're using Bethany Christian Services. They have several programs, but the one we felt was best for our family was the domestic infant program. That means that we're adopting from within the United States, and our child will be a newborn/infant. Very rarely have they had older children in the infant program, such as a 1 year old. But that's very rare. We agreed to have our portfolio shown for all of the United States, but many just choose the state their agency is in (less fees, less legal hoops to jump through). We didn't want to take the risk to be passed up, just because our future child/their birth mother wasn't in Maryland.

Why did we choose Bethany Christian Services?
- We picked BCS because after attending a 2 hour information session in December, we knew 100% that adoption was in our hearts and that the connection we already had with the social worker we met was exactly what we were looking for. We felt so comfortable. Yes, it was a ton of paperwork, travel time for 27 hours of training in Crofton, tons of appointments at our home, and expensive. But the expenses are one of the reasons we picked BCS. We met many birthmoms who've benefited from the therapy and counseling that BCS provides FOR LIFE for the birth and adoptive families. They security and protection they provide the children and families, as well as the resources and training made us know that we wanted an agency such as them.

Isn't adopting through foster care of DSS free? Why not go that route?
- We researched local Department of Social Services and contacted folks we knew who've fostered. We also knew of people who've been able to adopt via foster care for free. But we didn't feel this route was right for us. The child has to be in DSS/FC for 18 months without any period of going back to their birth family before they are eligible for adoption. The odds of there being no interruption during that period is rare. Our hearts aren't ready for the risk of finally having a child to love, and having to share them back with their family. We've discussed that possibly one day down the road, after we adopt one or two children, we may pursue fostering ... but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. But for now, we didn't feel it was the right route for us.

How will we get picked? When will we know?
- We get picked from that 20 page photo book we created. It is a mini-summary of who we are. BCS is a pregnancy crisis center on one side of the building. The social worker for the birth family works with them to help them decide if they can parent, what resources they have, and if they decide they still don't think they can parent, they work up an adoption plan after much counseling and time. Once an adoption plan is started, the birth families fill out a questioner of what they wish a family to be for their sweet child. The social worker then sends that over to our social worker, who is the adoptive families advocate. Whatever families meet that criteria, their photo books are pulled. The birth family then picks what family they wish to adopt their child. At that point, we'd get a phone call we were picked. We are given any info the agency has (due date, gender, prenatal care history, open/semi open adoption, etc..). We then can make the decision if we think this child is the right fit. If so, it's possible we may meet up with the birth family, if they request. At that point, if we say "yes", we wait until the due date. After the baby is born, we'll be called again with more details.. if the child is healthy, birth weight/time/, and anything else the agency feels we should know. We then can make the decision to continue on, especially if medical conditions are present. At that point, different states have different laws of when consent period is over for the birth parents to change their mind. Maryland is 30 days. The baby will go into interim care until the consent period is up, and there isn't as much legal risk for the birth family to change their mind. At the end of that period, we'll get to take the baby home. BCS does a "going home" ceremony at the agency, we can invite our family, and can finally have a little peace of mind. The adoption won't be final until we go to court around 8 months, and take legal custody after all paperwork has been processed. But BCS are the experts at this, and we 100% trust that we will be in good hands with them.

Another unique fact that we liked about BCS is that it's very different then DSS/Foster care in a very important way to us. These children who have an adoption plan started for them at BCS are SO loved. These children are in BCS because their birth family loved them so much to seek voluntary help and seek a better life for their child. These children aren't getting taken away because of neglect, drugs, jail or any other bad circumstance. That being said, yes - they could have drugs or alcohol in their system/no prenatal care. But they have recognized that they are not fit for parenting, and are choosing life for their child. They are making a decision that will always impact their lives, but will hopefully bring them peace.

The average age of the birth mom at BCS is mid-20s. Single women, married women, college graduates, you name it... that situation has happened at BCS. The number one reason people choose BCS and to make an adoption plan is because they financially cannot parent. They are just starting their career, they have many other children already, they don't have a home to provide for their child, and many other situations. But it's not the "TV" adoption stories you always think categorize ALL adoptions,, young teen moms, or drug/alcohol situations.

If you're ever bored, search hashtags on instagram, find waiting families, search "domestic infant adoption" and read blogs.. pray for these families, for the children, for the birth families and the adoptive families. It's an entire world that often doesn't get talked about, or "set straight" with real facts, rather than what people see and hear on TV which often isn't correct.

**Please keep in mind, all adoptions are unique in their own way. These are just the facts we've seen/learned/heard first hand from birth families, adoptive families, and social workers. **

Also, try and remember that every year the Saturday before Mother's Day is "National Birth Mothers Day". Say a special prayer for all the birth moms who are so incredibly brave, and have chosen the amazing journey of adoption for their children.

Thanks for all the continued love, support, stories of adoptions we've heard recently, prayers, and donations. We are SO thankful for every single one of you, and wouldn't be where we are without you. Baby Powell is so blessed to have you all cheering for them!

I wish we could attach pictures to this update/blog, but it unfortunately won't allow us to. We've got the nursery almost complete. It's coming together so nicely, and we're so thankful for all the gifts and gently used items our friends and family have flooded us with. Baby Powell is already set (except clothes, which many have offered up as soon as we know the gender).. and we cannot say thanks enough! You all are incredible.

Love,
Daniel & Brandy