4/27/2020

It's not a coincidence that we started fundraising a week before the world stopped. A week later the world was full of
fear of the unknown and life was threatened left and right. Nothing was as we knew it. Everything was different. Could you imagine if I waited. Would I of been able to start this process in the midst of a hurting scared world. PROBABLY NOT! BUT GOD....God knew exactly when it was time to start. In just 3 days we made exactly what we needed to start the process with our adoption consultant and the home study. This is the time of the adoption where time stands still and you wait on clearances/paperwork. So, at the exact time that we are required to stay in our homes and do nothing, I needed to finish piles of paperwork anyway. Now, thats perfect timing.

 I would be lying if I didn't say that I was frustrated. I was scared. Because my journey of being a mom has never been easy. And I was mad that once again I felt like I was up against a wall. However, it was because of the timing that I could rest in trust that God knew this was going to happen. He has my baby and in order to ensure that I saw His plan he had to time it perfectly. So we haven't skipped a beat. Nothing has been held back or stopped. We completed our paperwork and we are now waiting for the state to return all the clearances. Tonight is our first visit with our social worker to get our home study done! The first visit will be via video chat, so crazy right, but the best part is its still happening! We have picked out our agencies and with so much help from our awesome consultant we have filled out most of the agency applications. Through our consultant we also have a graphic designer that is developing our profile book. This will be a professional magazine that tells the story of life with us, the smiths. It has pictures and stories and all that a birth mom needs to make the very best decision for her baby. She will get a stack of books and decide from there. Once our home study and profile book are done we will hand in our agency applications and we can then be matched at any moment!!! Matched just means the the birth mom has chosen us too adopt her baby. She could have weeks months or days to go! That moment is a moment I dream about! And that is when we are considered "paper pregnant."

Fundraising is uncomfortable but we felt God challenge us to not let fear hold us back from the gift He has for us. He wants to show up and we need to get out of the way. BUT THEN THE ENTIRE ECONOMY is threatened! "Lord, how could we ask for money now!? it was already hard enough," I kept saying. But, we are all Gods children, we are all important, even the ones in the womb right!? So who am I to get in the way of Him taking care of this birth mama and baby. How much more of an incredible story of God's provision if He provides even now!? Every single fundraiser has left us speechless and changed. Our faith will forever be changed for the good.  It's such a beautiful process to be apart of from the very beginning. Although the process of fundraising can make us feel uncomfortable, we now see it as such a gift to have a front row seat in watching the hearts of people open up to support this sweet baby. We can imagine that God is looking down beaming because we are watching his plan unfold and all the frustration and confusion gone. 

I keep thinking about the story that I get to tell this baby. A story of how much they were loved by so many people even before we met them. A story of how much they were chosen, loved, and wanted! A story that shows in the midst of all the rubble that was around us God saw them as valued and important. He pursued them at all costs.

Thankyou will never feel like enough for being a part of this story! But, when we hold this sweet baby and show them off to the world, that will be the moment that will express how grateful we are.