Several months ago I was tagged in a post on Facebook with the comment, “she looks like she belongs in your family”. And there staring at me was a very familiar face. Familiar and yet, I didn't know her. Those big brown eyes, those chubby cheeks, those pouty lips. She really did look like she belonged. She looked like... Ami.  

We've just come through an unbelievable year after bringing home two toddlers. Ami and Owen have been a delight, but also a big adjustment. Ami's epilepsy turned out to be much more severe than anyone thought, and in August she was diagnosed with a rare, progressive brain disease. With her diagnoses, we found out the only cure was to remove half her brain. To say we were thrown for a loop would be an understatement. We clung to God, family, friends, and hope while plunging ahead chasing the cure for our baby. In September, she had a hemispherectomy, and to everyone's relief did much better than we expected. In fact, she is thriving. There are side-effects from the surgery, but her quality of life has drastically improved. Her seizures are gone. She has LIFE and hope for a future. So we took a deep breath and began to relax a little for the first time in almost a year. Until....I saw her.

We have no business even considering an adoption after the year we've had, right? I began to advocate. That had to be the answer. I would find her family. While advocating, I discovered she is actually from the same orphanage that Ami and Owen were from. They were there at the same time. She was even on our agency's list at the same time. I discovered she was in the process of being adopted and her family got all the way to travel time, but never traveled for her. My two tots were home and still she waited.

I advocated. I talked. I posted. I held a fundraiser for a grant for the family who would step forward for her. No one did. Every week I checked in with her agency hoping that someone had stepped forward and committed to being her family. No one did. How could that be? Did they even see her? Were they looking at those big brown eyes that only lacked the twinkle that comes from being adored? Did they notice the way her tiny fingers held onto the paper with her name?  Couldn't they imagine those little fingers holding onto a drawing of her own while she toddled over for hugs and sloppy kisses? Or was I somehow the only one who saw her... as a daughter?

Honestly, I fought it. I kept telling myself no, it just wasn't possible. I could not do another adoption right now. It wasn't her. It wasn't her special need. It was the process and the finances involved. It was the endless fundraising and writing for grants I knew would have to happen. I just didn't feel up to it. I...I...I... it hit me one day. All of my objections were about me. And then, I stopped fighting. I told myself and God that if she was meant to be ours, then I wouldn't stand in the way. But I wasn't the only one who had to make this decision.  I waited.

I didn't have to wait long. After 23 years, James and I have the same heartbeat. Without any pushing or prodding from me, he came to the same conclusion the person who tagged us in that facebook post 2 month previous had. She belonged in our family. We contacted her agency and a week later had pre-approval from China.

We waited until Christmas day to tell our other children. I wrapped up an 8X10 picture and gave it to them after everything else had been opened. As Noah reached into the box to pull out the picture he said, “Oh! It's a …. picture of... of... of... Ami???” I had to laugh as I introduced them to their new sister Rosie. Now her picture sits on the computer desk and every time Ami and Owen walk by they point to it. “dat Roozee??” they ask. Sometimes Owen will point at Ami and then at Rosie's picture and say, “dat Ami... dat Roozee” as if to remind himself who is who.

In April James had the privileged to visit Rosie at her orphanage.  It was surreal for him to hold her before her adoption and very hard to walk away and leave her there.  His heart cried, "we're coming  back Rosie.  just as quick as we can."

Let me tell you about her tee-shirt. I wanted something that spoke our hearts, but wasn't so exclusively “us” that it couldn't speak to someone else as well. The design features butterflies and hearts. Love and Transformation. One red vine reaching out to the one tiny red butterfly. The design symbolizes our journey to reach Rosie with our love and help her transform into our beloved daughter and sister. Eccl 3:11 says, He makes all things beautiful in his time. Even things that start out ugly, like caterpillars. Or abandonment.

We need to raise every single penny of the $16,000 left to get Rosie home, but this is not a tee-shirt sale. The suggested minimum donation is $25 per shirt. However, any donated amount is appreciated and the shirts are our way of thanking you for that donation. 

Here's how it will work- 

1. Make your donation through this Pure Charity site, then contact me through facebook (PM only please) or email (mtahmom@gmail.com) and let me know how many shirts and what sizes/styles.

• Women's slouchy- S (4-6), M (8-10), L (12-14), XL (16-18), 2XL (20-22) 

• Women's (very) fitted- S (4-6), M (8-10), L (12-14), XL (16-18), 2XL (20-22)  ***order one or two sizes larger if you don't like a snug fit.

• girls classic- XS (2-4T), S (6-8), M (10-12), L (14-16)

Maddie, Ami and I modeled some of the different sizes to give you and idea of how they look.  For frame of reference, Maddie wears size 12 youth, Ami wears size 3T and I wear women's size 6.

the slouchy style is my favorite.  I could live in this shirt.  all styles are very soft but the slouchy is one you can just relax all day long in.  please note...the fitted style is very fitted.  

All donations made through this Pure Charity site go directly to our placing agency and are tax deductible. Thank you so much for all of your support in whatever form you give it. We appreciate each and every one of you and look forward to sharing our journey to Rosie with you.