At the beginning of the adoption process, after choosing an agency, it is full steam ahead to get approved. There are mountains of paperwork, interviews, training, home studies, FBI fingerprints, CBI fingerprints, Child Abuse clearances, letters of recommendation and on and on. This stage is challenging because there is SO much to do and to some (cough cough - me) it feels frustrating having to divulge everything just to prove your worth to parent. Disclaimer - I am not suggesting it is not necessary… just frustrating. On the flip side, this stage is the best because there IS something to do and you are motivated by knowing that once you are approved, the matching process can begin. Yay!

 

What they don't tell you (Okay, what they DO tell you, but you don’t commit to memory...) is that all of the paperwork and background checks expire after one year. Since in our case, we have past the one year mark, the past several weeks have been spent updating the necessary paperwork, redoing our fingerprints and reapplying for our Child Abuse clearances. We also have an updated home study scheduled for mid-February.

 

Taking the steps to get re-approved has been like being served a huge piece of humble pie. Mostly, it has been disheartening because I never thought we would ever have to reapply. I had convinced myself that we would be rocking a sweet baby love long before the one year mark… Why I thought this? For the life of me, I do not know. Why did I think my family was special? Why did I think they would take one look at our profile, see the pictures of Braydon and instantly know we were the adoptive family they have been waiting for?

 

Clearly that has not been our experience and I am disappointed in myself for setting such unrealistic expectations. Along with that humble pie, I have been given a big dose of reality.

 

The reality is that there are countless beautiful families that are just as deserving, if not more, than me and my family. There are hopeful mamas who pray every night for a baby, just like me… And for some it takes one night, sometimes months, sometimes years and sometimes not at all. Today, I really really wish Hallie was here. So, I want to give a shout out to each and every person who has reached out to tell us their stories since I started this blog. Thank you for sharing your stories of loss, miscarriage, adoption, infertility and so much more. It is connecting with people like you that has been so rewarding. And if you are struggling like I am today… You are not alone.

 

#jonesingformore #babymakesfour #mygirl #hallie #teambraydon

 

XO&