About a week and a half before Mother's Day, our day started out like any typical Friday morning. I was wrestling Braydon into his shoes, when Corey called…

 

C: "Grace - Check your email!"

G: "What!? Now? I'm trying to get Braydon to school... Can I look later?"

C: "No, it can't wait. Check your email!"

 

The email was from our adoption caseworker and the subject was 'Birthmom XXX - Baby Boy Due 8/20/18". It was our first match email! (Spoiler Alert - This is unfortunately not an announcement.)

 

In the case of our adoption, when we say we are waiting on a match, we really mean we are waiting to be paired with a birth mother. Getting 'matched' does not mean we will automatically be selected as the adoptive parents. It means that we are the ideal adoptive parents for this birth mom and vice versa.

 

Once a match is made, we as the potential adoptive family are notified by our adoption agency and are provided with all the known information regarding the birth parents, baby and situation. Then, we are given a few days to decide if we would like our profile presented to the birth mother.

 

Prior to this point, birth moms go to an agency and receive counsel about their adoption choices. After a series of meetings with a counselor, they will often choose to view profiles and make a choice on a family. Typically three profiles are presented to the birth mother to choose from, however they can look at as many profiles as needed before they make a selection.

 

Profiles can be in different forms depending on the agency. For us, we have an electronic profile which includes a letter, information about our family and lots of pictures. All information is unidentifying-  no last name, no address.

If you are selected - a contract is signed, payment is due and it is full steam ahead until baby is born.

 

Now, I won't lie. Getting that first match email was surreal. We have been on the adoption journey for almost 9 months and that email made everything real. I don't remember much else about that conversation except for reading the birthmothers story and crying a lot. Corey and I both agreed pretty much instantly that it was a perfect match. We spent the whole weekend putting together the 'perfect' profile and I feel deeply in love with that baby boy. I could picture myself as his mama, but alas a few long days later, we found out that the birth mother had selected a different family.

 

Do I regret falling in love with that baby boy? Not even a little. Will I have my heart broken again? Most likely. But being matched reignited my excitement, reminded me not to slow down and to be ready every day to meet our missing piece…

 

Bonus - We now have a profile completed, so no more weekends cramming and I have applied for about 10 grants since then. Cross your fingers and toes.

 

Waiting… XO&