10/7/19

The word hope looks so pretty when it’s written in calligraphy on a background of rainbow-colored flowers. But I have never been more sad in my life than when I was in a state of hope. Hope is hard. Hope means that you do NOT have something. And when you’re hoping for something that your life will hinge on, it puts a hole in your heart. It can mean working, sweating, sacrificing, crying, and praying until it hurts, only to be left wanting. Hope is the cliff you look over right before you either find your heart broken or your dreams coming true.  

The way I see it, our experiences in life create a sort of faith bank account. When we go through good and bad times alike, if we involve God or thank Him or plead with Him, we are creating a bank full of experiences. We put experiences of trust into the bank, and we withdraw faith. If we blame God for the bad times and believe we alone are responsible for the good things, we have nothing positive to put into the bank; it is no wonder we don’t have faith in Him. When we are more grateful for what we have, we have more faith in God.

Faith is the currency we use to acquire hope. Just like our human relationships, we are able to trust more when we believe someone will not hurt us.   We have more or less faith in someone because of our experiences with them. In this time while we are waiting for our paperwork to process, we have seen no reason to suspect God will be cruel to us-- He is good. So, we are anticipating good things, even if the time frame is different than we thought it would be. Hope is not a “no.” But it’s not a “yes.” It’s like an emotional exercise, and it is exhausting at times, but exercise also makes us better, happier, and healthier. Beyond patience is faith; beyond faith is hope. Maybe beyond hope is love; it is the greatest of these, after all.

Seth reminded me last night of a parable told on that movie, Facing the Giants. "Two Farmers prayed for rain, but only one of them prepared his field. Which one do you think had more faith?" Which one had hope because of his faith? Well, we are praying and preparing for rain! I made a flow chart of how this should go from here on out if nothing else goes wrong. Chinese New Year in January will affect paper flow through government offices, so we're still not positive about which month we're traveling, though it is safe to say we won't see Asher until after his birthday. I am sad about that, but I have hope.

Hope means holding your breath knowing that this will not be the last time you will ever breathe. But there is an element of time involved with hope, and some people can hold their breath longer than others. I often see people who are praying for a loved one or praying for healing throw up their hands in defeat because there’s more to it than just wanting and waiting. Hope is waiting and trusting with a good attitude. You have to be optimistic, or else hope becomes something like jealousy or depression. Hope is such a powerful thing in humans that it can affect your quality of life. The Bible even says in Proverbs 13:12 that when hope is delayed, deferred, or crushed, our hearts are crushed, but “a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Even in a scientific experiment involving rats, the rats who were given hope had more endurance than their counterparts.  

Hope is a state of wanting with the words "Thy will be done" written on your heart. It is risky to trust a person because humans cannot promise perfection or goodness. To err is human, right? However, Romans 15:13 says, “May God, the source of hope, fill you with all joy and peace by means of your faith in Him…” Trusting God is not risky or foolish because He is consistent and good. Trusting Him brings joy and peace.