We met her today. 

But before we actually met her there was the waiting.  We had waited oh so long for this moment that you might think an hour long wait at the mall for her arrival would be no big deal.  You might think that Jen and I sat together and peacefully prayed as we anticipated the arrival of our-soon-to-be, (God willing) DAUGHTER!

Well, I can tell you there was definitely lots of anticipation, there was prayer, there was shy hope....but the peace part...well let’s just say that was lacking.  In fact at one point I checked my pulse, especially as I saw her and her and her caretaker coming down the escalator and it had risen to 95!

And as I saw them approaching from a distance I felt compelled to stand to greet her, to run up to them even.  But not wanting to make our first visit scary, I stayed seated as long as I could bear it. At about 30 feet away both Jen and I got up to meet both the caretaker and the soon to be baby Abadjian!

What happend next is so simple, I said hi, followed by her name.  And in recognizing us from our zoom meetings (at least I will tell myself this because she can’t  tell me otherwise), she smiled and giggled her cute baby Abadjian giggle that we had so gotten used to hearing over the internet.  She smiled for us! I know am never am going to forget that simple moment.  

After that we played and ran and ran and ran.  Did I say we ran?  She loved exploring the mall and looking at the Christmas lights but as our visit continued on, reality started sinking in.  

This girl.  This blonde hair, fair skinned, blue eyed girl may be calling me Daddy one day, but right now she barely knows either of us and is clinging to her caretaker.  She won’t even let either of us hold her hand.  Of course I wouldn’t expect her to so early in the transiston process...

I gotta say the avalanche of both negative and positive emotions one feels at moments like this is truly overwhelming.  Over the last few hours we have experienced fear, anxiety, joy, hopes and even guilt.  A tangle of emotions really.

But suffice it to say that we are fearfully, timidly, hopeful.